The Omnipresent Milkman

Now that he's been sentenced, the tape of the 911 call made by Michael Jackson's doctor can finally be released. Text is as follows : Dr Murray: "I need help. Michael's collapsed." Operator: "Have you started CPR?" Dr Murray: "No!" Operator: "Have you started a defibrillator?" Dr. Murray: "No!" Operator: "Well you wanna be starting something. You got to be starting something."

Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece. The Mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house. The Spaniard said; "You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end this house could be built". The following year the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek Mayor's house, gold taps, marble floors, it was marvellous. When he asked how this could be afforded the Greek said; "You see that bridge over there?" The Spaniard replied; "No?"